To my sort-of-not-girlfriend-not-not-girlfriend: 1

I’m sorry.

I used you as a crutch. I made you my community. I made myself dependent on your love and affection because I was insecure about the way you felt toward me.

You had your time, and you came back. You apologized; I forgave you.

Now, we’re not together anymore, but that’s only because we both want to get to a good place before we come together again.

And you flirted with me.

I didn’t think this was even possible anymore – not after all that’s happened – but my heart quickened just as it did before. Before we started dating, and you made racy little remarks under your breath that you didn’t think I could hear. Before we were official, and you looked at me incessantly.

And two days ago, while you were still confused, and we were talking together, I noticed you noticing me, and it made me weak. I forgot what it felt like to be noticed by you.

I know that what we’re doing is good, but you have new tattoos now, and I want to touch them.


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